Jobs I Wouldn't Want To Have

http://www.chicagobreakingnews.com/news/local/chibrknews-cops-man-used-drugs-to-assault-home-health-aide-20110223,0,6880363.story

Home health aide for Raymond Kvacik.

Reasons?

1. He lives in Elgin
2. He's one scary looking son of a B
3. HE WILL PUT SLEEPING PILLS IN YOUR JUICE AND THEN ASSAULT YOU

Here's the rub (no pun intended, but definitely intended) I would have ran out of that house as soon as I saw the person of whose care I was in charge. I know that home health aides kind of have to take what they can get, but at what point do you say "I think there's something wrong here?" Is it when you got 12 hours of sleep the night before, drank a quad trenta that morning and yet in the middle of your shift you can no longer keep your head up? Or is it when you wake up from a drug induced coma and Raymond Kracik, the crazy 74 year old Polski you're in charge of is on top of you?

NO THANK YOU. Would not do that job if you paid me $200 and an above ground pool.

Only In Indiana

There are many things I would do for an above ground pool, since the one we had when I was growing up got used all of maybe 50 times and they were the aweseomest times of my life, but killing someone is definitely NOT one of them.

http://www.chicagobreakingnews.com/news/local/ct-met-murder-for-pool-0301-20110228,0,7047886.story

Let me say this loud and clear: With the population of my school excluded, people in Indiana are a rare breed of crazy. Not too many places remain where you will find a human being willing to kill another human being for a USED ABOVE GROUND POOL. Not even classy enough to pay for the permit to dig a hole and fill it with concrete. I am shocked and awed by Mr. William Alexander. But, you know what they say...Never trust a man with two first names.